Red Rooster and His Chicks: June 2008

Well, I thought since this blog was originated as a way for us to continue our therputic discussions on life, love, sex and sometimes rock and roll...I would continue the tradition and begin my first 10 minute "It Kicked My Ass" Red Rooster blog entry with a rather suitable story that if told running around the course of Prospect Park would bring great laughs, groans and gasps. I can already hear all your reactions and it brings a knowing smile to my face. I miss you.

10 minutes #1: MINNESOTA MEN
...noda...not a one...no, WAIT... let me take that back...they are either married, gay, 20 or fishers...

Last Friday as I innocently sat talking on the phone to my girlfriend and listening to some free music in front of Orchestra Hall in downtown Minneapolis. I was approached by a rather handsome young man. As I was trying to pry myself off the phone he nodded towards my empty glass of beer. I smiled and he departed towards to the beer tent and I very bluntly told my girlfriend, "I have to get off of the "f"ing phone a man is hitting on me!"

He quickly returned two beers in hand. Conversation began...relatively good, no huge warning signs, pretty cute, very complimentary. Considering I had stopped at this location on my way home from work, I looked like crap, I was dressed like a retard and I was totally wiped from a really LONG week...I was enjoying myself, hell, it had been since the streets of Uraguay in SA that a man had given me such undivided attention. I wasn't going to let this go by without at least a little effort.

The evening continued. The beer was finished and we decided to go to a bar across the street for another one. I still saw NO warning signs. The conversation was going so well - no uncomfortable pauses, no rude remarks, no blatant "I want to get in your pants" statements. I was kind of impressed at my unplanned and unexpected romantic interlude.

Second beer finished. He asked me if he could walk me and my bike home. I accepted. As we walked we began discussing are apartments...then it came out...

Lily..."So you live with roommates?"
Joe..."yeah, just one"
Lily..."Yeah, I had a roommate in NYC. It is so nice not to have one anymore."
Joe..."Well, I actually live on my ex-girlfriends couch."

Lily...stopped in tracks, "What!?"

There it was! God forbid it actually be an evening of pleasant flirtation without an injection of drama! I was just waiting for it...and there it was. Straight from the horses (or should I say dogs) mouth. He lived with his "on again", "off again"... now ex... girlfriend. I couldn't help laughing out loud. I felt like I was in a hidden camera Sex in the City episode.

Now, I know at this point you are saying...of course you told him to go screw himself and went home. Yep, that would have been the right thing to do, but let me reiterate...Lily hadn't had any undivided attention from the male sex since a beach in Uruguay...and I was going to get some kissing. I didn't shave my legs the night before for nothing!

I shrugged off the ex issue and invited him in for a flavored water. Some nice kissing ensued...BUT you will be so very proud of me...I DID NOT SLEEP WITH HIM. That was not easy to pass up but I didn't! I did manage to find out before the evening ended that he was 28...no wonder...it all made sense...he hasn't hit the age yet when you learn that to have love and romance you don't have to live in continual drama. Wait I thought I learned that ... but it still continues to follow me...hmmm...

ok, this is the point where Roh throws in a smart remark, Kathy is shocked I took him home and Kristen has to stop to pee in the bushes.

SO...I gave him my number, did not take his and said call me when you move out. Well...he did call... 5 days later. Not to say he moved out, but to apologize for not being a gentleman. He left a message saying that he was sorry for misleading me. He said he wasnt looking for anyone and meeting me was a complete surpirse... he just couldnt help himself because he was SO attracted to me. He didn't leave his number and the phone marked it as private...but hey you get what you are given.

I know... another one bites the dust...what I can say...except...it was totally worth it!

Now...since I have revealed by weekly indiscretion to the blog world at large...it is your turn...I must depart for a run.

P.S. On completely different note...movie pick of the week "Manufactured Landscapes" not the most action packed documentary, but worth seeing and certainly alarming.